Friday, 3 June 2011

GENDER SELECTION

How To Determine The Gender of Your Baby

This piece is culled from Shettles Method which is based on the premise that sperm carrying the X and Y chromosomes have different characteristics and that you can influence the reproductive environment to favor one or the other. While there is some controversy surrounding both the credibility and the morality of the method, here's how the theory goes:

It is the sperm that fertilizes the egg that will determine the sex of your baby. Some sperm carry the X-chromosome and some sperm carry the Y-chromosome. If an X-chromosome-carrying sperm fertilizes the egg, the baby will be a girl. If a Y-chromosome-carrying sperm fertilizes the egg, the baby will be a boy.

The idea behind the Shettles Method of sex selection is based on the premise that the X and Y chromosome carrying sperm have different characteristics and that under different circumstances either X- or Y-chromosome-carrying sperm will be more likely to fertilize the egg.


The Y-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

  • be faster and smaller than the X-chromosome carrying sperm.
  • die faster than the X-chromosome-carrying sperm.

The X-chromosome-carrying sperm are said to:

  • be slower than the Y-chromosome carrying sperm.
  • be better able to withstand the acidic cervical environment before fertile cervical fluid is produced.

Based on these premises, according to Shettles, you can time intercourse, choose a sexual position that favors conception of your preferred sex and influence the reproductive environment to increase the likelihood of conceiving your preferred sex. These are the suggestions from Dr. Shettles:

To Get A Boy (According to Shettles):

  • Time intercourse as close to ovulation as possible: The idea is that since the Y-chromosome sperm are faster than the X-chromosome sperm, there will be more Y-chromosome sperm who reach the egg, making it more likely that a Y-chromosome carrying sperm will fertilize the egg.
  • Abstain from intercourse for four to five days prior to ovulation. Have intercourse only just at the time of ovulation and just before.
  • Have intercourse that allows for deep penetration. Shettles recommends rear-entry (aka, “doggy-style”). The idea is that the sperm will be deposited closer to the cervix where cervical fluid is most friendly to the Y-chromosome sperm and where the “boy sperm” are more likely to survive since there is less distance to travel.
  • Men avoid tight clothes: heat kills off both types of sperm, but will kill off the less protected, smaller Y-chromosome sperm faster, according to Shettles.
  • Women have an orgasm: According to Shettles, female orgasm increases the alkaline secretions in the vagina that are favorable to the Y-chromosome carrying sperm. Shettles recommends having an orgasm before or at the same time as the male partner.

To Get a Girl (According to Shettles):

  • Have intercourse 2-3 days before ovulation and avoid intercourse just before ovulation until 2 days after ovulation and when you have peak cervical fluid: The idea is that when you have sex a few days before ovulation, only the X-chromosome “girl sperm” will be left in the female reproductive tract waiting to fertilize the egg when it is released.
  • Have intercourse with shallow penetration: Shettles recommends “missionary position”or any position that will deposit the sperm slightly away from the cervix, giving advantage to the longer living, but slower X-chromosome-carrying sperm.
  • Women avoid orgasm: Shettles suggests women avoid orgasm because it makes the vaginal environment more alkaline, and less acidic and is disadvantageous to the X-chromosome “girl sperm”.

If you are taking longer than expected to conceive, it is generally not recommended to attempt any kind of sex selection as it can increase the time it takes to conceive.

Top Ten Fruits And Their Benefits

Studies have shown that intake of fruits contributes immensely to our healthy living. Fruits is a huge source of vitamins which is needed by our body. As we look at the top ten fruits that can be commonly found in Nigeria, we hope you will take note of its benefits and make it a duty to include fruits has part of your daily meals.

WATER MELON
Source of Energy Production
Watermelon is concentrated with b-vitamins. B-vitamins are responsible for a lot of your body’s energy production. This means eating watermelon can give you substantial energy. It also has high amounts energizing nutrients of magnesium and potassium.
Eating watermelon is a safe alternative to taking energy drinks prior to exercise. It also hydrates you due to its high water content as opposed to caffeine filled energy drinks that dehydrate you.

Antioxidants
Watermelon is a natural source of nature’s most powerful antioxidants.
It is a good source of the antioxidant vitamins C and A.
It is also a good source of the powerful antioxidant beta-carotene.
Watermelon’s antioxidants can help prevent a number of things.
It reduces the risk of colon cancer, asthma, heart disease, osteoperosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and prostate cancer.


Kidney Disorders: Water Melon contains a lot of potassium, which is very helpful in cleaning or washing off the toxic depositions in the kidneys. Moreover, it is helpful in reducing concentration of uric acid in the blood, thereby reducing the chances of kidney damages and formation of renal calculi in it. Added to these, being high in water content, it induces frequent urinating, which is again helpful for cleaning of kidneys. Also, the anti oxidants present ensures good health of kidneys for a long time.

High Blood Pressure: A good amount of Potassium and magnesium, present in water melons, are very good in bringing down the blood pressure. The carotenoids present in them prevent hardening of walls of arteries and veins, thereby helping reduce blood pressure.

Diabetes: Diabetes patients, who are supposed to have low energy and low sugar diet, often complaint about starving since they don’t get to eat their staple diet to their full, giving them a feeling of keeping half fed. Water Melons can be a good supplement for them.
In spite of being sweet in taste, a thick wedge will give you very few calories, since ninety nine percent of its total weight is composed of water and roughage. Moreover, the various vitamins and minerals such as potassium and magnesium help in proper functioning of insulin in the body, thus lowering the blood sugar level. Arginine, another component found in water melons, is very effective in enhancing impact of insulin on sugar.

Heart Care: Lypocene, a carotenoid found in abundance in water melon, improves cardiac functions. Beta carotene, known for its remarkable anti oxidant and anti aging properties, also keeps you young at the heart and prevents age related cardiac problems.
The roughage in water melon and its very low energy, with help from vitamin-C, Carotenoids and potassium (potassium cuts the risk of a heart attack), help reduce cholesterol and keep your heart safe.

Impotence: Arginine, present in water melon, is beneficial in curing erectile dysfunctions.
Arginine seems to improve sexual function in men with impotence. Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels.
A study of 50 men with impotence reported significant improved sexual function after arginine supplementation.

Macular Degeneration
Eating watermelon can protect against the negative effects of macular degeneration.
Macular degeneration is just a fancy word for loss of vision.
Leave your worry of eyes on that beta carotene, that vitamin-C and those Lutein and Zeaxanthin.
They will ensure protection of your eyes from macular degeneration. They are experts in that.
These anti oxidants will protect your eyes from other age related ailments such as drying up of eyes and optical nerves, glaucoma etc.


Cancer Prevention
Watermelon is a rich natural source of lycopene, a carotenoid of great interest because of its antioxidant capacity and potential health benefits. Dietary consumption of the carotenoid lycopene has been associated with a lower risk of prostate cancer. Data from studies provides evidence that increased consumption of lycopene-containing foods might reduce the occurrence or progression of prostate cancer. The results of a study suggest that vegetables and fruits rich in lycopene and other carotenoids may be protective against prostate cancer.

To determine whether dietary intake of lycopene and other carotenoids has an etiological association with prostate cancer, a study was conducted of 130 prostate cancer patients. The prostate cancer risk declined with increasing consumption of lycopene, alpha-carotene, beta-carotene, beta-cryptoxanthin, lutein and zeaxanthin.

Nutrient Profile Per Serving
Vitamin A: 10%
Vitamin C: 25%
Vitamin B6: 10%
Vitamin B1: 10%
Magnesium: 7%
Potassium: 5%
That is the end of fruits one, our next fruit to look on next will be PAWPAW


PAWPAW

Paw-paw has many nutritional and health benefits. It is easily digestible and aids in the digestion of other foods.
It is rich in vitamin A and C, potassium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorous, iron, and soluble vegetable fiber.

It is recommended that paw-paw be taken regularly. Paw-paw is much desirable and enjoyed when eaten fresh and ripe. Taking it in this way makes it to become an excellent breakfast and desert. Paw-paw juice mixed with milk is an excellent blood tonic, dessert and appetizer. Paw-paw prevents stomach troubles, such as indigestion, constipation, and peptic ulcers.

Paw-paw is rich in enzymes called pa-pain, which help in the breakdown of protein into amino acids and digestion.
Eating paw-paw after a meal aids digestion and prevents bloating and chronic indigestion.
Paw-paw is very good in treating infective diarrhea, due to its emollient action. Paw-paw is rich in vitamin A, which helps in the prevention of skin problems like eczema, pimples, and acne. Paw-paw with its vitamin A helps to protect the eye.

Paw-paw is also very good for the skin because of the amount of vitamin A it contains, and not only does it make the skin soft and tight, but it also deals with skin disorders such as acne, pimples and eczema. The vitamin A in paw-paw is also good for the eyesight, muscles, and nerves. It known that paw-paw helps to tighten and smooths the skin, due to the presence of enzymes.


According to the DIY treatment recommended by spa expert Stella Cray can be tried thus: using a spoon, scoop out papaya seeds and throw away. Then scoop out the pink flesh and put in a blender with 6 ounces of plain yogurt, blend for about one minute until smooth. Stand over and old towel and using a circular motion, massage the mixture over problem spots like the stomach and thighs.
Wrap the area strongly with cellophane tape. Then grab a good book and read, relaxing for about 30 minutes before peeling off the plastic and rinsing skin with water.

It works because papaya’s enzymes called pa-pains stimulates collagen production band slough off the top layer of dead skin cells to reveal softer smoother, and firmer skin. The warmed from the plastic wrap allows moisturizing yogurt to penetrate more deeply into the skin.

Massaging the body helps circulation, causing hydrating blood to flow to cellulite prone areas, plumping skin and reducing dimples. With repeated use, the vitamin C in the fruit strengthens the skin to further reduce cellulite. Paw-paw therefore can give you a cellulite free thighs.

Paw-paw improves digestion of protein and expels worms. The ripe fruits are rich in vitamin A, B, and C. Vitamin A is excellent for a good eyesight, muscles, nerves. The vitamin C is generally known to strengthen the immune system and assist in combating diseases.
As a worm expeller, chew two tablespoons of seeds of unripe paw-paw fruit, first and last thing in the morning and night respectively, for about three days. For malaria fever and jaundice, squeeze some yellow paw-paw leaves in water and take a glassful three times daily for seven days.

For stomach ulcer, cut a big unripe fruit of papaya and put in a bottle with water, store for four days, sieve and take half a glass, thrice daily for two weeks. For chronic external ulcers or sores, cut a piece of unripe pawpaw fruit and tie directly to the wound. Do this four times daily. Continue till the wound has dried, which will be in few days or weeks. To make the wound heal faster, eat plenty of ripe pawpaw.


For Asthma, burn the dry leaves of papaya and inhale whenever there is an attack. Also prevent further attacks by inhaling the smoke every night. The vitamin C in paw-paw fruit reinforces the entire immune system and gives the body the support that is required to overcome many diseases.

Malaria fever- Squeeze some yellow pawpaw leafs in water. Take a glassful three times daily for seven days. This preparation is also good for jaundice. The dosage is the same.

Diabetes- The green leafs of pawpaw are good foe diabetes-induced hypertension. Squeeze the green leaves in water and take a glass thrice daily. This preparation is also good for constipation.

Bronchitis- The root of the pawpaw plant is a good remedy for respiratory problems especially bronchitis. Bring some pawpaw roots to boil and take ½ a glass thrice daily. For cough, simply chew a tender pawpaw root and swallow the juice.

Piles- Pawpaw root is effective for the cure of piles. Prepare as for bronchitis. The dosage is half a glass twice daily.

Impotence- Cut two unripe pawpaw fruits into pieces (seeds and peel inclusive). Bring to boil in eight bottles of water. Take half glass thrice daily.



MANGOES
Anti cancer: The phenols in mangoes, such as quercetin, isoquercitrin, astragalin, fisetin, gallic acid and methylgallat, as well as the abundant enzymes, have cancer-preventing capacities. Mango is also high in a soluble dietary fiber known as pectin. Scientist have identified a strong link between eating lots of fiber and a lower risk of cancers of the gastrointestinal tract. A cup of sliced mangoes (around 165 gram) contain 76 percent of the needed daily value of vitamin C, a potent antioxidant which helps protect cells from free radical damage and reduces risk of cancer.
Eye health: One cup of sliced mangoes supplies 25 percent of the needed daily value of vitamin A, which promotes good eyesight. Eating mangoes regularly prevents night blindness, refractive errors, dryness of the eyes, softening of the cornea, itching and burning in the eyes.
Helps in digestion: Mangoes contain digestive enzymes that help break down proteins and aid digestion. It is also valuable to combat acidity and poor digestion because of an enzyme found in the fruit which soothes the stomach. Due to the high amounts of fiber found in mango, it can be a helpful in keeping you regular, thereby helping or preventing constipation. Eating one or two small tender mangoes in which the seed is not fully formed with salt and honey is found to be very effective medicine for summer diarrhoea, dysentery, piles, morning sickness, chronic dyspepsia, indigestion and constipation.

Benefits to skin: Mango is effective in relieving clogged pores of the skin. What this means is that people who suffer from acne, which is caused by clogged pores, will benefit from mango. Just remove the mango pulp and apply it on your skin for about 10 minutes before washing it. Eating mango regularly makes the complexion fair and the skin soft and shining.
Helps in diabetes: Mango leaves help normalize insulin levels in the blood. Boil a few mango leaves in water and allow it to saturate through the night. Consume the filtered decoction in the morning for diabetic home remedy. The glycemic index of mango is low, ranging between 41-60. So, mango does not have any significant effect in increasing blood sugar levels.
For better sex: The Vitamin E that is abundantly present in mangoes helps to regulate sex hormones and boosts sex drive.

Beneficial for anemia: Mangoes are beneficial for pregnant women and individuals suffering from anemia because of their iron content. Also, vitamin C in the mango enhances the absorption of iron from vegetable food like rice. Generally women after menopause become weak and they should take mangoes and other fruits rich in iron.
Boost memory: Mangoes are useful to children who lack concentration in studies as it contains Glutamine acid which is good to boost memory and keep cells active.
Avoid heat stroke: Unripe mangoes, a rich source of pectin, when steamed and juiced with cumin (jeera), rock salt and sugar, provide an excellent remedy for heat stroke and heat exhaustion in summer.

Weight gain: Mangoes can be beneficial for people wanting to gain weight. A 100 gram of mango contains about 75 calories. Also, raw mangoes contain starch which get converted into sugar as the fruit ripens. So ripe and sweet mangoes when consumed with milk (rich in protein) can be very helpful in weight gain.
Nutritional Value of Mango
One medium sized mango comprises of:
Calories – 107
Protein – 0.84 g
Carbohydrate – 28 g
Total Fat – 0.45 g
Fiber – 3 g
Vitamin A – 6425 IU
Vitamin C – 45.7mg
Magnesium – 18 mg
Potassium – 300 mg
Calcium – 20 g
Cholesterol – 0 g
Saturated fat – 0 g
Mango is High in Iron
Mango is a fruit that is very high in iron. Women, especially, need to increase the amount of iron that they consume due to the large amounts that they lose during menstruation. Pregnant women also need to think about increasing the amount of iron that they consume. People with an iron deficiency, which is called anemia, would also benefit from the high amount of iron offered in mango.

Mango May Get Rid of Acne
It is believed that mango may help unclog pores. What this means is that people who suffer from acne, which is caused by clogged pores, will benefit from mango. All that you need to do in order to take advantage of this property of mango is apply thin slices to the area of skin that you want to clear up. Leave the mango there for about ten minutes before rinsing the skin with warm water.
Mango is an Anti-Inflammatory Fruit
One of the main benefits of mango is that it offers anti-inflammatory properties. This is known to help the body in a number of different ways. It can reduce pain from conditions such as arthritis. Mango is also known to relieve symptoms from asthma due to the anti-inflammatory benefits that it has to offer.



PINEAPPLE
Pineapple is loaded with Vitamins and Minerals: The obvious benefits of pineapple are all the vitamins and minerals the fruit is loaded with. Its nutrients include calcium, potassium, fiber, and vitamin C. In addition it is low in fat and cholesterol.
It Strengthens weak bones: One of the benefits of pineapple is that it helps to build healthy bones. Pineapples are rich in manganese, a trace mineral that is needed for your body to build bone and connective tissues. Just one cup of pineapple provides 73% of the daily recommended amount of manganese. The benefits of pineapple can effect the growth of bones in young people and the strengthening of bones in older people.

It is Good for Gums: Your gums are very important to keep healthy. The gums hold the teeth in place and your teeth would be in bad condition if you have unhealthy gums. By eating pineapple, you are strengthening your gums to make it through the hard years later.
It Prevents Macular Degeneration: Pineapples contain a lot of beta-carotene that is good for the eyes and for your vision. Studies show that eating three or more helpings of pineapple a day may lower your chance of getting age-related macular degeneration, the main cause of vision loss in older folks.
IT Helps Arthritis (diseases of the joints): Bromelain is also considered an effective anti-inflammatory. Regular ingestion of at least one half cup of fresh pineapple daily is purported to relieve painful joints common to osteoarthritis. It produces mild pain relief. In Germany, bromelain is approved as a post-injury medication because it is thought to reduce inflammation and swelling.

Coughs and Colds: While many people often take extra vitamin C or drink extra orange juice when they have a cold, few consider eating pineapple. The benefits of pineapple when you have a cold or cough are the same as the benefits of orange juice, but there is an additional benefit of pineapple. Bromelain, which is found in pineapples, has been found to help suppress coughs and loosen mucus.
Digestion: The bromelain found in pineapples aids in digestion. Eating one slice of pineapple after each meal will reduce gas, bloating, nausea, constipation and the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. Fresh pineapple juice also aids in removing intestinal worms.
Sinusitis and Bronchitis: Bromelain has been shown helpful for upper respiratory tract infections such as Sinusitis and Bronchitis. Bromelain helps to reducing nasal inflammation and break up the mucus in the nasal, sinus and respiratory area.
Blood Clots: Pineapples can help reduce the risk of blood clots due to the bromelain present in the fruit and thereby preventsing heart problems.
When you eat pineapples, you have a better chance at having a healthier life.
Nutritive Value : Per 100 gm.
Vitamin A : 130 I.U.
Vitamin C : 24 mg.
Calcium : 16 mg.
Phosphorus : 11 mg.
Potassium : 150 mg.
Carbohydrates : 13.7 gm.
Calories : 52
Pineapple is also Beneficial in the following condition :
It is regulates the gland and found to be helpful in cases of goiter(enlargement of the thyroid gland).
Dyspepsia (chronic digestive disturbance).
Bronchitis (inflammation of the bronchial tubes.)
High Blood pressure.

Fresh pineapple juice is also used in removing intestinal worms.
Fresh pineapple juice has been used to combat diphtheria and other infections of the throat or other parts of the body.
Prevents nausea (includes morning sickness and motion sickness), Take 230 cc. of pineapple juice or papaya juice.

Eating fruits does not mean buying fruits, cutting it and popping it into our mouths.It involves more than that.It is important to know how and when to eat fruits. Let me show you the correct way of eating fruits.

Research has shown that it is important not to eat fruits after your meals, fruits should be eaten on an empty stomach.If you eat fruits like that,it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

Bear in mind that fruits is the most important food but eating fruits after meals causes stomach discomfort as the fruits come in contact with the meal. The whole meal rots and ferments turning into acid.This could lead to cancer because the moment fruits come into contact with food in the stomach and digestive juices, the food begins to spoil.

Taking fruits on an empty stomach prevents graying hair,balding,nervous outburst and dark circles around the eyes. Fruits that are considered acidic like oranges and lemon don’t cause harm because all fruits become alkaline in our bodies according to research.
The secret of true beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight lies in mastering the correct way of eating fruits.Try this and achieve your desired weight and beauty.




Soursop is a fruit that has the most delectable flavor. The soursop is a large fruit of a small, fast-growing tree. The fruit is picked from the tree before it has fully ripened as it will be badly bruised if allowed to ripen and fall. The fruit is mature and is ready for eating when it feels slightly soft and is light green externally. The skin is thin and is covered with conical nibs. The white, pulpy flesh, which contains juice, is peppered with small shiny, black inedible seeds, and has a pleasant, sweet-acidic taste. As it is rather fibrous, its squeezed juice makes a better choice, and has, in fact become more popular than the fresh fruit as such. Soursop has few seedless varieties, but they are rare, and tend to have fibrous flesh.

Medicinal Benefits: Soursop is not only a delicious and healthy fruit but it is use medicinally to treat illness ranging from stomach ailments to worms.
• The seeds, which have emetic properties, can be used in the treatment of vomiting.
• The leaf decoction is effective for head lice and bedbugs.
• The crushed fresh leaves can be applied on skin eruptions to promote healing.
• The juice of the fruit can be taken orally as a remedy for urethritis, haematuria and liver ailments.
• The juice when taken when fasting, it is believed to relieve liver ailments and leprosy.
• To speed the healing of wounds, the flesh of the soursop is applied as a poultice unchanged for 3 days.
• A decoction of the young shoots or leaves is regarded as a remedy for gall bladder trouble, as well as coughs, catarrh, diarrhea, dysentery, fever and indigestion.
• Mashed leaves are used as a poultice to alleviate eczema and other skin problems and rheumatism.
• The root bark is use as an antidote for poisoning.
• Soursop flowers are believed to alleviate catarrh.
• Decoction of leaves used as compresses for inflammation and swollen feet.

Nutrient Value per 100 grams servings:
• Vitamin: C 20.6
• Calcium: 14
• Iron: 0.6
• Calories: 66
• Dietary Fiber: 3.3g
• Protein: 1g
• Cholesterol: 0mg
• Sodium: 14mg
• Sugars: 13.54g
• Total Carbohydrate: 16.84g
• Total Fat: 0.3g
• Saturated Fat: 0.05g
• Monounsaturated Fat: 0.09g
• Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.06g
Culinary uses: eaten fresh as fruit; made into cakes, ice cream, preserved, beverages and for flavoring. The young soursop, where the seeds are still soft, is used as a vegetable. The fermented fruit is also use to make an apple cider-like drink.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

PROVERBS

Nigerian Proverbs

1. "Give me a push from my back" does not mean give me a hunchback.

2. "Now the marriage begins," says the woman who has been beaten with thorns.

3. A bag that says it will not take more, and a traditional doctor who says he would not leave anything behind are both sure to suffer.. Nigerian Proverb. A bag that says it will not take more, and a traditional doctor who says he would not leave anything behind are both sure to suffer.

4. A bird does not change its feathers because the weather is bad.. Nigerian Proverb. A bird does not change its feathers because the weather is bad.

5. A bird that flies from the ground onto an anthill, does not know that it is still on the ground.. Nigerian Proverb. A bird that flies from the ground onto an anthill, does not know that it is still on the ground.

6. A bottle of oil warmed over the fire has no means of producing oil by itself.. Nigerian Proverb. A bottle of oil warmed over the fire has no means of producing oil by itself.

7. A bush fowls' playground is never appreciably spacious.. Nigerian Proverb. A bush fowls' playground is never appreciably spacious.

8. A child does not die because the mother's breasts are dry.. Nigerian Proverb. A child does not die because the mother's breasts are dry.

9. A child is what you put into him.. Nigerian Proverb. A child is what you put into him.

10. A child who fears beating, would never admit that he played with a missing knife.. Nigerian Proverb. A child who fears beating, would never admit that he played with a missing knife.


11. A child who has no mother will not have scars to show on his back.. Nigerian Proverb. A child who has no mother will not have scars to show on his back.

12. A child who is carried on the back will not know how far the journey is.. Nigerian Proverb. A child who is carried on the back will not know how far the journey is.

13. A child's face is his mirror.. Nigerian Proverb. A child's face is his mirror.

14. A clay pot of water is never hot-tempered.. Nigerian Proverb. A clay pot of water is never hot-tempered.

15. A crowd is like a smoldering log which can spark into a flame at any time.. Nigerian Proverb. A crowd is like a smoldering log which can spark into a flame at any time.

16. A diviner cannot accurately divine his own future.. Nigerian Proverb. A diviner cannot accurately divine his own future.

17. A family name is not cooked and eaten, one's life is the thing.. Nigerian Proverb. A family name is not cooked and eaten, one's life is the thing.

18. A farmer does not boast that he has had a good harvest until his stock of yams lasts till the following harvest season.. Nigerian Proverb. A farmer does not boast that he has had a good harvest until his stock of yams lasts till the following harvest season.

19. A farmer does not conclude by the mere look of it that a corn is unripe; he tears it open for examination.. Nigerian Proverb. A farmer does not conclude by the mere look of it that a corn is unripe; he tears it open for examination.

20. A farmer who would not work inside the rain and would not work under the sun, would have nothing to harvest at the end of the farming year.. Nigerian Proverb. A farmer who would not work inside the rain and would not work under the sun, would have nothing to harvest at the end of the farming year.


21. A fight between grasshoppers is a joy to the crow.. Nigerian Proverb. A fight between grasshoppers is a joy to the crow.

22. A fowl does not forget where it lays it eggs.. Nigerian Proverb. A fowl does not forget where it lays it eggs.

23. A friendly person is never a good-for-nothing.. Nigerian Proverb. A friendly person is never a good-for-nothing.

24. A glorious past is the work of a glorious man.. Nigerian Proverb. A glorious past is the work of a glorious man.

25. A goat owned by two people sleeps outside.. Nigerian Proverb. A goat owned by two people sleeps outside.

26. A good name is better than gold.. Nigerian Proverb. A good name is better than gold.

27. A herbalist that refuses to ask laymen what leaves he looks for in the bush, must have difficulties getting what he wants.. Nigerian Proverb. A herbalist that refuses to ask laymen what leaves he looks for in the bush, must have difficulties getting what he wants.

28. A housewife who complains that there is not enough foodstuff in the market should remember that if her husband adds to what is already available, there would be more for everyone.. Nigerian Proverb. A housewife who complains that there is not enough foodstuff in the market should remember that if her husband adds to what is already available, there would be more for everyone.

29. A hunter who has only one arrow does not shoot with careless aim.. Nigerian Proverb. A hunter who has only one arrow does not shoot with careless aim.

30. A laughing jackal portends a witch in the rafters.. Nigerian Proverb. A laughing jackal portends a witch in the rafters.

31. A lizard that fell from the top of a tree wastes its time looking back to where it fell from; if there was anything good the lizard deserved, it could not have missed it while it was there on top of the tree.. Nigerian Proverb. A lizard that fell from the top of a tree wastes its time looking back to where it fell from; if there was anything good the lizard deserved, it could not have missed it while it was there on top of the tree.

32. A lounging lizard catches no crickets.. Nigerian Proverb. A lounging lizard catches no crickets.

33. A man can not sit down alone to plan for prosperity.. Nigerian Proverb. A man can not sit down alone to plan for prosperity.

34. A man does not wander far from where his corn is roasting.. Nigerian Proverb. A man does not wander far from where his corn is roasting.

35. A man that begets a barren cannot have a grand child.. Nigerian Proverb. A man that begets a barren cannot have a grand child.

36. A man who eases himself in public, gives cause to others to despise him.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who eases himself in public, gives cause to others to despise him.

37. A man who has one finger pointing at another has three pointing towards himself.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who has one finger pointing at another has three pointing towards himself.

38. A man who is advised and he takes it, is still a man who acts from his own free will.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who is advised and he takes it, is still a man who acts from his own free will.

39. A man who is trampled to death by an elephant is a man who is blind and deaf.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who is trampled to death by an elephant is a man who is blind and deaf.

40. A man who lives alone is either always overworked, or always overfed.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who lives alone is either always overworked, or always overfed.

41. A man who lives on the bank of a river does not use spittle to wash his hands.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who lives on the bank of a river does not use spittle to wash his hands.

42. A man who walks alone carries a load of palm-fronds.. Nigerian Proverb. A man who walks alone carries a load of palm-fronds.

43. A masquerade does not perform to an outside audience until he performs well at the home base.. Nigerian Proverb. A masquerade does not perform to an outside audience until he performs well at the home base.

44. A masquerade is not a spirit only because of its mask.. Nigerian Proverb. A masquerade is not a spirit only because of its mask.

45. A mother is gold, a father is a mirror.. Nigerian Proverb. A mother is gold, a father is a mirror.

46. A mouse that removes the palm-nut that turns out to be the bait of a trap, would already have known that the palm-nut does not ripen on the ground.. Nigerian Proverb. A mouse that removes the palm-nut that turns out to be the bait of a trap, would already have known that the palm-nut does not ripen on the ground.

47. A one-eyed person does not thank god until he meets a blind person at prayer.. Nigerian Proverb. A one-eyed person does not thank god until he meets a blind person at prayer.

48. A pad that breaks a pot of water does not remain on the head.. Nigerian Proverb. A pad that breaks a pot of water does not remain on the head.

49. A performing masquerade who tries too hard to outclass his colleagues may expose his anus.. Nigerian Proverb. A performing masquerade who tries too hard to outclass his colleagues may expose his anus.

50. A person always breaking off from work never finishes anything.. Nigerian Proverb. A person always breaking off from work never finishes anything.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

JOKES ZONE

A married woman was found in another man's bed in a house four streets away from her home in Lekki, Lagos, she claimed it was the flood that carried her there!!! hmmm!!!

NEXT JOKE
An aircraft was loosing height due to overload, the pilot announced,"we'll throw some passengers out of the aircraft in alphabetical order according to your Continent, Anyone from African continent? No one answered or moved,
Then a black boy asked his father: "Dad Are we not from Nigeria"?
The father replied "Shut up Son, today we are from Zulus Continent
"

NEXT JOKE
boy: Fine girl, whats ur name? My name is Peter, ok,
girl: my name is Stella.
Boy: Can I have ur number.
Girl: ok, 00990087762278.
Boy: is it an international number?
Girl: no, dats my account number, save it with Stella Amaechi, UBA. Boy: no, I mean ur fone number.
Girl: u know what to do with the account number, when I get an alert on my fone, I wil call u.
Boy:Ok, so what are ur favourite books.
Girl: Cheque books, cash books.
Hahahaha!!!!

NEXT JOKE
A man and his wife are in a court room for divorce. The judge askd who is to have the custody of the child? The woman jumped up and said I brought him into this world carried him for 9 months, breast feed, washed him and stayed up late to make sure he sleeps. The judge looked at the man and said, do you have anything to say? The man slowly stood up think for a while and said your honor, if u put your ATM into a machine and the machine brings out money, is the money or machine yours?



NEXT JOKE
I no fit laugh oooo !!!Abeg! when you are making negotiation, please ask for clarification if you are not sure. A guy approached a lady telling her that they should have fun together, the lady agreed because the guy promised her a BB. After the fun, the guy quickly rushed out to get the BB. Guess what he bought? BREAD and BEANS..Na here fight come start o. Tell me who we go blame for dis matter, d guy or d girl?hahaha



NEXT JOKE
A Guy was sent to deliver a live Chicken in Lagos. On his way, a careless cyclist made him fall off. The Chicken immediately ran away. The Guy on seeing the chicken flying away started laughing & when asked “why are you laughing?”, he said: "see this Mumu chicken where does it know in Lagos when the address is with me?



NEXT JOKE
Girl was looking at the tattoos of her boy friend. Reebok on his arms, Lotto on his chest,Nike on his neck but she was shocked when she saw AIDS on his penis,"Relax" said the boy friend. When it enlarges, it becomes ADIDAS.


NEXT JOKE

A boy who had intentions of being a doctor got his WAEC result with two credits in Igbo and Agriculture.

Luckily for him he had an uncle who worked in the medical college so he now embarked on a journey to secure an admission in medicine.

The following discussion went on between the boy and his uncle.

Uncle: - Jnr long time. How are you doing?

Boy - I’m ok I came looking for admission in your faculty.

Uncle - So how were your O' levels results?

Boy - Fine oh. I really want to be the first Doctor from our village and with your help I can secure admission.

Uncle - What were your results like?

Boy - Two credits in Igbo and Agriculture

Uncle - laughing said "you can still be a Doctor but a native doctor. You will use your credit in Agriculture to look for herbs and Igbo to chant incantations".


NEXT JOKE
Mr okoro sees a prostitute and asks how much, she says 5k on the bed, 3k on the sofa and 1k on the floor. Mr okoro gives her 5k, she says wow, on the bed? Mr okoro says nooooo, 5 times on the floor. Hahahaha!!! Don scatter my baff ups.



NEXT JOKE (money cannot waste)
U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil one egg N30, all na N45...
*MoneyCannotWaste.


U buy 5alive N250, I buy orange+mango+pineapple N80 naira..my own get natural nutrient..
*MoneyCannotWaste.

Nepa cut ur light, U pay sharp sharp, I wait, climb d pole for nite fix my wire back..
*MoneyCannotWaste.

U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell chocolate which already contains all d sugar...
*MoneyCannotWaste

U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him cd N150, stay room play and sing along *MoneyCannotWaste

U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema and I dey chop ground nut of N20 cinema..shey our mouth dey move, movie dey show go! *MoneyCannotWaste

U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy paraga N20, Am super active...mtcheww
*MoneyCannotWaste

U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add squaddy, all ną red wine...
*MoneyCannotWaste

U buy baked beans for supermarket, i buy akara from Mama Nkiru dey flex,all na beans......
*MoneyCannotWaste

U fix 100k brazillian hair, i buy N100 xpression attachment, i fine pass you... & guys don't know the difference.

*MoneyCannotWaste



U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness
*MoneyCannotWaste

U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same..
*MoneyCannotWaste...

You buy bb touch 95k, I buy curve2 35k, shey all of us dey ping?
Mtchewww.. Abeg Abeg!!!! I can't shout!!!!


NEXTJOKE
A man & his ever nagging wife were on a holiday trip in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly. The undertaker said it 'll cost $5,000 to ship her home or $50 to bury her here. The husband said ship her home. The undertaker said "but Sir why dont u bury her in the Holy Land & save the money?" The husband said "A long, long, time ago a man called Jesus was buried here & three days later he rose from the dead. I cant take dat chance! Lol!!



NEXT JOKE
Queen, Bush and OBJ died and went to Hell. Queen say "I miss UK, I want to call UK". She makes 5 minutes call asked devil: how much? Devil say £800. Bush say i also want to call USA". He make 3 minutes call asked how much? Devil said its "$2500".OBJ said he want to call Naija oh'. Want talk to Goodluck, Atiku, OBJ talk for about 15hrs and asked the devil, how much? Devil said its 5 naira. OBJ was surprised and ask why so cheap? Devil say hell to hell is a local call.




NEXT JOKE

Just like the Nigerian couple in London that gave birth to a white baby,

a Chinese couple in ikoyi, Nigeria gave birth to a black baby

and the husband ask the wife, chu, why baby black?

chu replied, we live in Nigeria, no electricity, you hot, me hot, sex hot, baby burnt!


NEXT JOKE

Sis Mary took the kids to Bro Ken's house one day for fellowship
after fellowship, Sis Mary decided to take the kids home but forgot her bible in Bro Ken's house by mistake,
She went back to Bro Ken's house to take it and when she got there, she met Bro Ken unclothed on the bed and asked:
Bro Ken, what is that thing between thy legs, and bro Ken replied, dat is the Rod of Salvation

And it happened again, but this time, Bro Ken took the kids to Sis Mary's house for fellowship,
and he too forgot his bible and decided to go back to pick it,
when he got to her house, he saw Sis Mary unclothed on the bed, and asked:
Sis Mary, what is that thing between thy legs and on thy chest, and she replied, Ah Bro Ken, that thing between thy legs is the gateway to heaven and the one on thy chest is the Rock of Ages

Oh praise the Lord screamed Bro Ken, my hands shall hold to the Rock of Ages where i will get comfort and my Rod of Salvation shall pass through the Gateway to Heaven, Hallelujah!!!



NEXT JOKE

How do you recognize Akpan in school? He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher cleans the board.

In a conversation
AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?

In a classroom:
Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”


NEXT JOKE

Some Yoruba, Ibo and Hausa men were caught in the jungle by cannibals and were given opportunity to escape if they could get some jungle 10 fruits from the jungle and force through their anus.

the Yoruba man came first and fail, the Ibo man almost succeeded but laughed when he raise his head and saw the Hausa man coming before he could insert the last fruit (peanut) into his anus.

When the ghost of the Yoruba man ask the ghost of the Ibo man how come he now laughed when he had almost escaped, the Ibo man replied, "as I was about to insert the last fruit into my anus I suddenly raised my head and saw the Hausa man coming with 10 big pineapples in his hands that was why I laughed."

NEXT JOKE

Three rats they argue who strong pass. The 1st one say
"I jump rat trap, dance awilo notin do me".
The 2nd one say "I chop rat poison notin do me".
The 3rd one laff say "u see dat cat wey dey there?
Na me give am bele"
:)

NEXT JOKE

At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?"

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh, come on! Who's going to see us at this hour?"

"No, please. Can you imagine if we got caught?"

"Oh, come on. There's nobody around. They're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh, please, please. I like you so much!"

"No, no and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh, yes you can. Please!"

"No, no. I just can't."

"Pleeeeease!"

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled.
In a sleepy voice, the sister says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or, I can do it. Or, if need be, he'll come down and do it himself. But for crying out loud, tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"


NEXT JOKE

A Nigerian mother asks her pregnant teenage daughter:

''Funke how did you get pregnant?" ''I told you, if a man touches your bosoms, say 'DON'T' and if he touches your privates, say 'STOP'",

The girl says "But mamma, I did, He was touching both places at the same time, so i said "DON'T STOP!"


NEXT JOKE

On the first day of college, the dean/principal addresses the students pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined N200 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined N600. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of N1800. ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?".

To this, a male student in the crowd inquires: "HOW MUCH FOR A COMPLETE SEASON ?"

NEXT JOKE

Juliet: hey suzan, i just got my BlackBerry oooh.i'll buy my pin next wik

Suzan: U try o! Me i don dash jane my own

Juliet: why?

Suzan:because BlackBerry don taya me, nw na BB i dey use

Juliet: is your BB samsung or nokia?:

O Suzan: no, itz Sony Ericsson.

Juliet: okay, jst giv me your pin so i can cal u

Susan: eyaa, am sorry, i left my pin @ home.U knw its nt safe walkin arnd wit your pin, e fit chock U LMaO


NEXT JOKE
An Igbo man fell into a well one day and started screaming for help. His wife rushed off to buy a rope to save him. When she returned, she threw one end down into the well and the Igbo man examined the rope and asked; "How much did you buy this rope?" The wife said "N1000". Still inside the well he shouted "What! Return it now and go to Papa Emeka, he sells for N300. Hurry up please before I die!
Lol!


NEXT JOKE

A mallam saw his brother collecting money from the bank with his ATM Card, and he shouted i have seen your pin code, it is four stars, and the other laughed and reply saying, you did not see it, its not four stars but 5723.
Now who is d fool?

HOW TO REFILL YOUR PRINTER INK YOURSELF

How to Refill Your Printer Ink Yourself

Pay attention and be very careful. First of all you must know that your DeskJet printer is divided into two components.

1. For printing black and white (BLACK CATRIDGE) and the other.
2. For printing colors (COLOR CATRIDGE). So am going to start with the one for printing black and white which is called "black cartridge"

Go to any computer accessories and buy DeskJet cartridge refilling ink. You'll need to buy both black and colour. The black contains only one syringe while the color contains three syringes namely, yellow, magenta, and cyan.

REFILLING BLACK CATRIDGE....
1. Switch on the printer

2. Open the cover to allow the cartridge to come to the centre, wait till the printer stop beeping i.e. making noise and has stayed in the centre.

3. Remove the black cartridge i.e. the "SMALL ONE".

4. Remove the round black patch on the side of the cartridge facing up by using a sharp tool. Use the enclosed pulp extractor or screw to remove the ball plug blocking the refill hole in the cartridge

5. With the syringe, draw ink from bottle into the chamber of the syringe by drawing out the syringe plunger fully. Now insert the syringe into the refill hole in the cartridge and depress the plunger slowly to dispense the proper amount of the ink into the cartridge.

6. After refilling is completed, replace the ball plug back into position
and seal the black patch back into position by using a glue or strong adhesive.

7. Finally insert the cartridge back into the printer.

TO REFILL THE COLORS (YELLOW, MAGENTA, and CYAN) CATRIDGE.
Follow the initial step for refilling BLACK CATRIDGE. You can also use this method to refill HP PSC 1510 All in One printer and any other kind of printer of the same type.